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http://panda-grace.tumblr.com/post/99814751002/so-im-sitting-here-waiting-for-church-to-start

bassetttum:

panda-grace:

So I’m sitting here waiting for church to start, trying to set my intentions to be calm and rational and NOT get angry… and then they’re sitting here ACTUALLY SAYING that black people only get arrested more because they commit more crimes, that reverse racism is just as bad as actual racism (which…

Wow they actually say these things in white churches??

Forget tea party, that sounds like a klan meet.

Yeah it’s gross. And it’s worse because I know these people, and they’re not only decently intelligent, but otherwise thoughtful, caring people who would never be violent or intentionally hateful. The fact that despite being fairly good people they can believe such awful things (and not even seem to realize how awful they are) is deeply troubling. And I have no idea what to do about it.

So I’m sitting here waiting for church to start, trying to set my intentions to be calm and rational and NOT get angry… and then they’re sitting here ACTUALLY SAYING that black people only get arrested more because they commit more crimes, that reverse racism is just as bad as actual racism (which “hardly even exists any more if you compare it to what used to happen back in the day”), and that FOX News told them the Ferguson protestors are trying to physically tear up the town in retaliation for… something. Oh, and they are, of course, also lamenting the arrival of same-sex marriage in WV, while snidely commenting that the approval of “man’s worldly government” cannot protect against God’s wrath.

… is this a church? Or a Tea Party convention? I can’t even tell any more. I just keep reminding myself that four hours of this crap every week is better than not having a place to stay. But as soon as I build up some savings, work out a budget, and find a roommate, I am outta here. This is just nuts… and as our larger society slowly lurches forward toward progress, here in the CoC it’s only getting worse.

Mummy on the Orient Express

Oh, thank you, Twelve and Clara, for not disappointing me tonight! I needed that.

I love how Twelve tries to be so cavalier about things, when really he just knows you have to work through to the end of a thing (especially when that thing is a life-threatening situation) before you can afford to mourn, and the death and destruction do actually bother him. He always saves everyone he can. The snark is only sometimes intentionally cruel - mostly it’s a mask designed to keep everyone at bay while he figures himself (and the problem of the week) out.

I don’t know how I feel about Clara deciding to stay with him, though. I mean, I love them together, and I think Twelve needs her desperately (far more than he’d ever admit), but it was such a sudden turnaround from the end of last week. And was she looking at him when she said “I love you” to Danny? This cannot, I repeat, CANNOT turn into some godawful love triangle thing. I refuse. Hopefully she, like Amy in a way, will learn to balance “her boys”. And I would pay good money to see Danny in the T.A.R.D.I.S. one of these days.

I love Twelve so, so much. I hope he regains his grasp soon, though. It pains me to see him so seemingly unsure of his own moral compass.

This GUS thing almost has to be related to Missy and the nethersphere and such. I can feel my spidey senses a - tingling. But I have no idea what it means!

I’m tired and I don’t think I’m stringing thoughts together very well at this point. Time for sleep (at quarter past ten, ugh, adulthood).

This afternoon has been emotionally rough. I feel… not just disconnected, but severed and still bleeding from my old college life. The vast majority of my friendships have dissolved, and I haven’t formed new ones because I literally have no idea how to even meet adult people I would like well enough to be friends with…and then that punch-in-the-gut moment when you realize that someone who used to be hugely important in your life and swore they always would be just up and changed their mind…..it’s just not been a good afternoon. It’s been full, too, of reminders about how many things my mom and I can’t share in life because our perspectives are too different, which breaks my heart because I love my mom so, so much. 

The moral of this story is that I really effing need Doctor Who to be good tonight.

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